Legacy News

Tombstone humor

How to know if you are hooked on genealogy

My recent experiences have lead me to this conclusion:

You know you're REALLY hooked on genealogy when the majority of hits that come up when you Google an ancestor's name are your own queries on the genealogy boards!

Thanks, Karl, for sharing this with us!

Sibling defined

Sibling, n.

The only person whose entire genealogy you can usefully steal.

This humor is from The Genealogist's Glossary (& Other Essential Nonsense) by Christopher Dunham and is copyright 2005 by Christopher Dunham. It is re-published here with the permission of the author. Information about the book is available at http://genealogue.blogspot.com/

Does your family tree have potential problems?

Baptized before birth? Buried before death? Born 100 years after parents were married? Legacy Family Tree's Potential Problems report can check your family tree for these kind of mistakes.

Just click on Tools > Potential Problems, select your options, and click on Create Problems List.

Genealogist Forgets Wife's Birthday

Gary Hurlburt shocked the genealogical community of Palo Alto, California, on Thursday by forgetting the birthday of his wife of 29 years.

Hurlburt is renowned in local family-history circles for his skill at remembering dates. Without a moment's preparation he can tell you when his great-grandfather Waldo Jepson was born, married, quit drinking, and died. Or which days of the week his ancestor Drusilla Withey's 23 children and their 38 spouses were born. But somehow his wife Linda's date of birth slipped his mind.

Read the entire article here. . . .

Users of Legacy Family Tree no longer have excuses for forgetting birthdays or anniversaries. Click here to read why.

Your genealogy addiction explained. . .

Does this sound familiar?

Genealogy begins as an interest,
Becomes a hobby;
Continues as an avocation,
Takes over as an obsession,
And in its last stages,
Is an incurable disease.

- Author unknown

Top Ten Worst Genealogy Tips

10. Start with your earliest ancestor and work forward.

9. Verify any information that you find in a book by checking a second copy.

7. Proper cemetery research requires a pen and paper, a digital camera, and a sturdy shovel.

For the rest, you'll need to check out Christopher Dunham's book, The Genealogist's Glossary (& other essential nonsense) at http://genealogue.blogspot.com/

This selection was re-published here with the permission of the author.

Direct Ancestor defined

Direct Ancestor, n.

A person from whom you cannot help but claim descent.

This humor is from The Genealogist's Glossary (& Other Essential Nonsense) by Christopher Dunham and is copyright 2005 by Christopher Dunham. It is re-published here with the permission of the author. Information about the book is available at http://genealogue.blogspot.com/

Technology Tip

When all else fails, kick it!

Genealogy Poem - Who Am I?

I started out calmly, tracing my tree,

To see if I could find the making of me,

And all that I had was Great-Grandfather's name,

Not knowing his wife or from whence he came.

Keep reading here.

Got Spam?

from AncestralFindings.com

Tombstone Humor

Tombstone:

Here lies my wife,

Here let her lie.

Now she has peace,

and so do I.

Relationship Humor

Can a first cousin, once removed, return?

Relationship Tips in Legacy

• Fixing Potential Relationship Problems
• How is my Father's Brother's Son's Daughter related to me?

Relationship Report in Legacy:

1. Click on the Reports icon.
2. Click on the Books/Other tab.
3. Click on the Relationships button.

Relationship Diagram in Legacy:

1. Click on the Reports icon.
2. Click on the Books/Other tab.
3. Click on the Forms Center button.
4. Click on the + next to Relationship Diagrams and select the desired relationship diagram.

Important Dates

from Dollarhide's Rules For Genealogy:

"If you can remember your ancestor's marriage date but not your own, you are probably an addicted genealogist. "

Fortunately, Legacy Family Tree can help. Using the new Marriage Reminders feature, you'll never miss your anniversary again. Click here for the complete article.

Research Discoveries

He gave a researcher $100

To trace his family tree;

Then he gave him $500

To keep quiet his discovery!

Secondary Source defined

Secondary Source, n.

A derivative record created some time after an event, and easily identified by its repeated use of the phrase, "Near as I recall. . ."

This humor is from The Genealogist's Glossary (& Other Essential Nonsense) by Christopher Dunham and is copyright 2005 by Christopher Dunham. It is re-published here with the permission of the author. Information about the book is available at http://genealogue.blogspot.com/

Pappy's Gal

Suzy Lee fell in love.
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy bout it all,
she told her pappy so.

Pappy told her,"Suzie Gal"
you'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon yo maw don't know,
but Joe is yo half-brother.

So Suzie forgot about her Joe
and planned to marry Will.
But, after telling pappy this 
he said "There's trouble still"

You can't marry Will, my gal,
and please don't tell yo mother,
cause Will and Joe and several mo
I know is yo half-brother"

But Mama knew and said
"Honey chile, do what makes yo happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe,
You ain't no kin to pappy!"

Top Ten Reasons to Date a Genealogist

In honor of Valentine's Day, the Genealogue has published their Top Ten Reasons to Date a Genealogist.

Click here for the list.

Ancestors and Potatoes

The man that hath not anything to boast but his illustrious ancestors is like a potato: the only good belonging to him is underground.

- Thomas Overbury, 1581-1613

The Computer Swallowed Grandma

The computer swallowed grandma.
Yes, honestly it's true.
She pressed 'control' and 'enter'
And disappeared from view.

It devoured her completely.
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus,
Or been eaten by a worm.

I've searched through the recycle bin,
And files of every kind;
I've even used the Internet,
But nothing did I find.

In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found 'online.'

So, if inside your 'Inbox,'
My Grandma you should see,
Please 'Copy', 'Scan' and 'Paste' her
And send her back to me!

Authour Unknown

Nickname Defined

Nickname, n.

The name under which your ancestor lived to escape detection by future genealogists.

This humor is from The Genealogist's Glossary (& Other Essential Nonsense) by Christopher Dunham and is copyright 2005 by Christopher Dunham. It is re-published here with the permission of the author. Information about the book is available at http://genealogue.blogspot.com/

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions for Genealogists

If you haven't set your New Year's resolutions yet, you could get some humorous ideas for genealogists from The Genealogue.

Click here for their "Top Ten New Year's Resolutions for Genealogists."

Genealogist's Christmas Eve

'Twas the night before Christmas
When all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even my spouse.

The dining room table with clutter was spread
With pedigree charts and with letters which said...
"Too bad about the data for which you wrote;
Sank in a storm on an ill-fated boat."

Stacks of old copies of wills and such
Were proof that my work had become too much.
Our children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.

And I at my table was ready to drop
From work on my album with photos to crop.
Christmas was here, and such was my lot
That presents and goodies and toys I'd forgot.

Had I not been busy with grandparents' wills,
I'd not have forgotten to shop for such thrills,
While others bought gifts to bring Christmas cheers,
I'd spent time researching those birth dates and years.

While I was thus musing about my sad plight,
A strange noise on the lawn gave me such a great fright.
Away to the window I flew in a flash,
Tore open the drapes and yanked up the sash.

When what with my wondering eyes should appear,
But an overstuffed sleigh and eight small reindeer.
Up to the house top the reindeer they flew,
With a sleigh full of toys and 'ole Santa Claus, too.

And then in a twinkle, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of thirty-two hoofs.
As I drew in my head, and bumped it on the sash,
Down the cold chimney fell Santa--KER-RASH!

"Dear" Santa had come from the roof in a wreck,
And tracked soot on the carpet, (I could wring his short neck!)
Spotting my face, good 'ole Santa could see
I had no Christmas spirit you'd have to agree.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work
And filled all the stockings, (I felt like a jerk).
Here was Santa, who'd brought us such gladness and joy:
When I'd been too busy for even one toy.

He spied my research on the table all spread
"A genealogist!" He cried!  (My face was all red!)
"Tonight I've met many like you," Santa grinned,
As he pulled from his sack a large book he had penned.

I gazed with amusement--the cover it read
Genealogy Lines for Which You Have Plead.
"I know what it's like as a genealogy bug."
He said as he gave me a great Santa hug.

"While the elves make the sleighful of toys I now carry,
I do some research in the North Pole Library!
A special treat I am thus able to bring,
To genealogy folk who can't find a thing."

"Now off you go to your bed for a rest,
I'll clean up the house from this genealogy mess."
As I climbed up the stairs full of gladness and glee,
I looked back at Santa who'd brought much to me.

While settling in bed, I heard Santa's clear whistle,
To his team, which then rose like the down of a thistle.
And I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight,
"Family history is Fun!  Merry Christmas!  Goodnight!"

--Author Unknown

Probate Humor

When there's a will, I want to be in it. . . .

Tombstone Humor

Here lie the bones of my former honey. . .

. . . he thought the mushrooms tasted funny.

from the Genealogy Daily Calendar, sold here.

Heredity

Everyone believes in it until their children act like fools. . . .

Humor: When Visiting a Funeral Home . . .

"When visiting a funeral home, wear old clothes, no make-up, and look like you have about a week to live -- the funeral director will give you anything you ask for if he thinks you may be a customer soon. "

- from Dollarhide's Rules for Genealogy

Humor: You know you are taking genealogy too seriously when...

. . . your house leans slightly toward the side where your genealogical records are stored.

Humor: the Census

Census Taker: "Good morning, madam, I'm taking the census."

Old Lady: "The what?"

Census Taker: "The c-e-n-s-u-s!"

Old Lady: "For lans sakes! What with tramps takin' everythin' they kin lay their han's on, young folks takin' fotygrafs of ye without so much as askin', an' impudent fellows comin' roun' as wants ter take yer senses, pretty soon there won't be nothin' left ter take, I'm thinkin'."

--1890 Harper's Weekly

Humor: Without Peers. . . .

When the woman was asked what was the best thing about being 105 years old, she responded "No peer pressure!"

Submitted by Sharon Payne Perdue

If you have a good genealogy joke or anecdote to share, please send it to Editor@MillenniaCorp.com

Humor: Dear Tech Support . . .

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance - particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0. and Golf Clubs 4.1. Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate

=========================

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System!

Please enter the command: “http: I Thought You Loved Me.htm” and try to download Tears 6.2 and don’t forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, over use of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background, that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,
Tech Support